Rage! Rage against the dying of the light!

I have a tendency to limit myself. There are things that I presume are beyond me. Or, believe it or not, sometimes I don't want to draw too much attention to myself, almost as if I'm a star that doesn't want to shine bright. It's a silly flaw. Because my potential goes untapped because of fear. Fear of having eyes on me, judgement. Fear of failure also to a certain extent. Yet time moves, regrets mount. The visionaries either broke free from these restraints or had no awareness of them. Perhaps they had an understanding of a concept that is too slippery for us the faceless multitudes to grasp. You only live once. And this life is like a mist. It's there for a brief period and then it's gone. Knowing this, understanding this, one then has to decide. To be a wallflower or to rage against the dying of the light. That is the question.

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Peonies

Like the multitudes of people who do not receive gifts often, I used to believe that I didn’t care about them. That it was not a ‘big deal’ for me. That was until I received a book from my then boyfriend. It was unexpected and perfect. Proof that I lingered in his mind in a significant way. I loved it. To paraphrase Oliver Twist, ‘I would indeed love some more’ of this gift receiving. The joy I felt surprised me. It reinforced a thing that was proving itself to be true again and again in my life. That you can never truly understand something until it happens to you. That true appreciation comes from experience. I started to understand why the girls would go crazy over what seemed like trifles from lovers on Instagram stories. About a year after that, an estranged acquaintance also sent me a book with the sweetest message. I was in a bad way (she didn’t know this) and some force compelled her to show me love at that time. That gesture was the gust of oxygen I needed to emerge from the

Couple goals

Couples pictures make me sad. I get second hand embarrassment just looking at them. The matching outfits and lovey dovey poses all reek of desperation and hubris. 'Dont leave me', 'our love is better than yours', yet an accurate representation of the relationship would be a tattered, threadbare rag. Others are real deal though, to be fair. It's still irksome to watch. I know of the psychedelic effects of love. I'm only human, once in a while I'm bound to fall victim. At one point or another I might be possessed to take a picture with my partner. Even in a love drunk state I've found that a palatable couples picture would be one where we are both in the frame, my partner and I, posing as though we were strangers. Doing random things and not showing signs of being enamored. No PDA. Just proof that we shared space time and again. I don't know. Maybe I just feel like any display of love or desire or affection is embarrassing.

365 dni: A review

Tiktok was raving about this movie and the fomo got to me. The snippets looked compelling I just had to witness the full thing. I soon discovered that the movie is basically a thinly veiled porno. Less than twenty minutes in and some lady is choking on a penis. The story is basically about a mafia boss who almost died at some point, in that moment he saw the face of a woman and when he recovered the woman still lingered in his mind. He sought her out and finally finds her five years later when she visits Sicily on Holiday. The girl is Polish. Massimo, the mafia boss, kidnaps this woman and gives her 365 days to fall in love with him. He promises not to touch her unless it is what she wants. I think the story was ok. They just failed to help it along. They just rushed through some things that could have intensified the movie. For example, I think Laura could have put up a more rigorous struggle. Because it seemed as if she was too comfortable and content for a kidnap victim. She liter

In Layman's terms

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